The lady asked me, "You are still young, why are you in a hurry to do so many things?"The answer was, "I don't know".
The question hasn't really made sense until very recently, when I got sick apparently because I have overworked my body and overstretched my mind. I've been "working" at dawn, day, and night to beat so many deadlines---a research paper for work, prerequisites for another MA in UP (as I would have wanted to enroll in another MA program), and clearance requirements (FYI, I taught in a local school last summer and I haven't been cleared to this day). A couple of weeks ago, my body (and my spirit, I guess) asserted their right to a "real" rest. I was forced to stay at home and not work. I was so beaten by fever, cough, colds and bad allergies that I haven't mustered any strength to think about those deadlines.
It is usually during such a circumstance when one gets to reflect about his/her life. While I was sick, I finally got the courage to confront the question, "why am I in a hurry?". The answer is...because I fear of being "left behind" by friends and acquaintances who have gone abroad; have traveled the world; have enriched themselves literally; have bought a nice house (or houses), a car (or cars), and fancy clothes; have achieved fame; and for some, have gained a title before their names. Admitting this is very humbling in that it means admitting my discontent, self-doubt, and incapacity to resist the superficial and mundane.
The rat race is just so attractive to young people that many, myself included, find it hard not to join. The thing is, it's so easy to participate in that race! There are no registration papers to sign. All it takes is a strong desire to be somebody...to achieve something, and everything else will follow. My greatest fear is not on the race itself, but on its end. Is there happiness and contentment at the finish line? What if I will still find myself empty and my efforts futile?
After giving much thought about all these, I have come to a resolution. I should continue dreaming big, but need not join the race. I should continue dreaming without losing track of what really matters to me---wisdom that is shaped by experiences and introspection; good health; strong ties between and among family and friends; a loving partner with whom I could share good food and a good laugh; and that sense of fulfillment for having helped others. I need not be in a hurry...I need not force things to happen at the time I want them to happen. I should learn to wait...and wait in humility. I should be more patient, more persistent, and more open to countless possibilities.
Meanwhile, I should just enjoy and be grateful for what I am and what I have today.
The question hasn't really made sense until very recently, when I got sick apparently because I have overworked my body and overstretched my mind. I've been "working" at dawn, day, and night to beat so many deadlines---a research paper for work, prerequisites for another MA in UP (as I would have wanted to enroll in another MA program), and clearance requirements (FYI, I taught in a local school last summer and I haven't been cleared to this day). A couple of weeks ago, my body (and my spirit, I guess) asserted their right to a "real" rest. I was forced to stay at home and not work. I was so beaten by fever, cough, colds and bad allergies that I haven't mustered any strength to think about those deadlines.
It is usually during such a circumstance when one gets to reflect about his/her life. While I was sick, I finally got the courage to confront the question, "why am I in a hurry?". The answer is...because I fear of being "left behind" by friends and acquaintances who have gone abroad; have traveled the world; have enriched themselves literally; have bought a nice house (or houses), a car (or cars), and fancy clothes; have achieved fame; and for some, have gained a title before their names. Admitting this is very humbling in that it means admitting my discontent, self-doubt, and incapacity to resist the superficial and mundane.
The rat race is just so attractive to young people that many, myself included, find it hard not to join. The thing is, it's so easy to participate in that race! There are no registration papers to sign. All it takes is a strong desire to be somebody...to achieve something, and everything else will follow. My greatest fear is not on the race itself, but on its end. Is there happiness and contentment at the finish line? What if I will still find myself empty and my efforts futile?
After giving much thought about all these, I have come to a resolution. I should continue dreaming big, but need not join the race. I should continue dreaming without losing track of what really matters to me---wisdom that is shaped by experiences and introspection; good health; strong ties between and among family and friends; a loving partner with whom I could share good food and a good laugh; and that sense of fulfillment for having helped others. I need not be in a hurry...I need not force things to happen at the time I want them to happen. I should learn to wait...and wait in humility. I should be more patient, more persistent, and more open to countless possibilities.
Meanwhile, I should just enjoy and be grateful for what I am and what I have today.
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