Bluer than blue

After you go
I can catch upon my reading
After you go
I'll have a lot more time sleeping
When you're gone
Looks like things are going to be a lot easier
Life should be a breeze you know
I really should be glad
But am bluer than blue
Sadder than sad...

If there is one song that can best describe how I feel, that will be it (the one above). When my man was about to leave for Thailand I held on to the thoughts that at last, I would have (enough) time for myself. I could do facial with gusto, have my manicure and pedicure without being conscious of the time, I could finish reading the half-read books and magazines, I could finally stick to my schedule as there would be no sudden malling, spontaneous dinner, etc. 

Of course I was wrong. Now, more than ever, I realize the meaning of the line, "Life is not the routine, but the interruptions." I used to whine over the spontaneity of my man---he doesn't seem to follow any schedule, he does something when he feels like it. He is my complete opposite in that area because I list down the things that I want to do for the day and try my best to stick to it. I schedule leisure time, vacation, etc. For the last three years that we've been together, I found myself not so "disciplined" when it comes to my schedule because always, always, there was a birthday party to attend, a good movie to watch, a killer shirt or pair of jeans to buy, and so on. For the last three years, I've been wanting to just take a break and have my routine back!

And now that am having that much-desired break, I am unhappy. I just realize that everything that happened in the last three years was LIFE! Girl, I am missing the interruptions and their culprit.

I am still alive, of course. I still breathe and eat. The point is...I just want to be near my man. Call it OA, but life's difficult and lonely without him around. Life's bluer than blue, indeed :(