People keep telling me that now is the right time to get married. I am no longer "young"; I have finished my Master's degree; I have a good job; my boyfriend has a good job; we love each other blah-blah.
For a time, I was excited to get married, what with all the encouragements (or maybe persuasions) of relatives and friends, plus saying "I do" becoming a trend among my high school and college classmates. I felt giddy imagining myself wearing that simple yet elegant wedding gown I've always wanted, writing our vows (at least my part of the vow), wearing his ring and dancing our first dance. If I remember right, I've been thinking about this "I do" thing in the last two and a half years! For so many reasons, no wedding ever occurred.
At one point, we had to prioritize our schooling. I had to finish my masters and Viktor, his undergrad. Apparently, he overstayed in school, but that's a totally different story. In short, the idea was brushed aside. Then, just when we really wanted to get married, we realized we did not have the money. Let's admit it, getting married is getting expensive by the day. Moreso in our case because back then, we were not open to the idea of a civil wedding. We wanted a church wedding for the most sentimental reason---to celebrate our union with family and friends (though, when translated in practical terms, would mean more people to invite, more mouths to feed on that single afternoon/night). At one point also, Viktor had to focus on his work because he relocated to Bangkok and had to adjust to his new environment. Then, just when we decided to finally have it this year, I got admitted to another master's degree abroad. Although I have yet to get a scholarship to be able to pursue the course, we had to defer our plan until we know the result of my scholarship application.
I am not giving up on the idea of us getting married. But very recently, I've come to realize that maybe THE time has not yet come. Maybe fate had a hand on a number of our aborted marriage attempts. I am not implying that Viktor and I may not be destined for each other, no! Maybe we just need time to max out our single, (semi)carefree lives! Maybe we need to find out first whether or not we can live in one roof, sleep in the same bed every day, stand each other's quirks, experience the ebb and flow of lovemaking drives, and witness each other's strengths and flaws from the minutest to the grandest.
So now, I am ditching---MOMENTARILY---the idea of marriage. I would be glad to move in with him. I look forward to joining him in Bangkok this year. I look forward to that day, that moment when both of us will just realize, sans the prodding of relatives and friends, that we ought to take our relationship to another level. As to when will that be, I don't know. What I know now is that it will happen...THE right time will come.
For a time, I was excited to get married, what with all the encouragements (or maybe persuasions) of relatives and friends, plus saying "I do" becoming a trend among my high school and college classmates. I felt giddy imagining myself wearing that simple yet elegant wedding gown I've always wanted, writing our vows (at least my part of the vow), wearing his ring and dancing our first dance. If I remember right, I've been thinking about this "I do" thing in the last two and a half years! For so many reasons, no wedding ever occurred.
At one point, we had to prioritize our schooling. I had to finish my masters and Viktor, his undergrad. Apparently, he overstayed in school, but that's a totally different story. In short, the idea was brushed aside. Then, just when we really wanted to get married, we realized we did not have the money. Let's admit it, getting married is getting expensive by the day. Moreso in our case because back then, we were not open to the idea of a civil wedding. We wanted a church wedding for the most sentimental reason---to celebrate our union with family and friends (though, when translated in practical terms, would mean more people to invite, more mouths to feed on that single afternoon/night). At one point also, Viktor had to focus on his work because he relocated to Bangkok and had to adjust to his new environment. Then, just when we decided to finally have it this year, I got admitted to another master's degree abroad. Although I have yet to get a scholarship to be able to pursue the course, we had to defer our plan until we know the result of my scholarship application.
I am not giving up on the idea of us getting married. But very recently, I've come to realize that maybe THE time has not yet come. Maybe fate had a hand on a number of our aborted marriage attempts. I am not implying that Viktor and I may not be destined for each other, no! Maybe we just need time to max out our single, (semi)carefree lives! Maybe we need to find out first whether or not we can live in one roof, sleep in the same bed every day, stand each other's quirks, experience the ebb and flow of lovemaking drives, and witness each other's strengths and flaws from the minutest to the grandest.
So now, I am ditching---MOMENTARILY---the idea of marriage. I would be glad to move in with him. I look forward to joining him in Bangkok this year. I look forward to that day, that moment when both of us will just realize, sans the prodding of relatives and friends, that we ought to take our relationship to another level. As to when will that be, I don't know. What I know now is that it will happen...THE right time will come.
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